During the Primal Scream

Now would be the perfect time to rape someone.

George, I think we should use our slow cooker as a humidifier. We'll just get some water, put it on high and the entire night, our room will be warm and moist.

Watching the Taylor Swift music video

See? Brunettes are supposed to date brunettes. He's a blonde!

Yeah, I know my love for Taylor Swift can't be. That's pedophilia right there.

If you downloaded gay Czech twin porn in 720p, I would watch it.

So George, I'm a member of the Church of Whale Penis.

Two female teachers opt to do each other instead of students! Excellent! Are they hot?

Oh my god, this chicken has the largest pectoral muscles I have ever seen.

10 minutes after eating the chicken...

George, I can't eat anymore titty meat. ..

Aaaaaaand, we're back!

The bus is beneath me, the bus is for the proletariat. The bourgeoisie can't be seen riding the buses.

I hope that one day, all the douchebags of the world come together and build a statue of me, in my likeness.

Are people from Finland called Finlandians?

The following is what Adit sent me over G-Chat:

(@Y@)

Hmmm, I might be able to go there for dinner. Wait, what are their names again? Mallika and Malek?

On learning how to snowboard

Hmmm, I don't want to jack my cousin's snowboard. Also, I want to pick my own. I want one that is incredibly stiff, so much so that it only works at really high speed. That way, it'll teach me not to be a little bitch.

Mmmm pause it, I have to show nailah this hysterical Japanese thing. Have you ever seen hard gay?

Me: Adit, what would you do if I blasted the Looney Tunes theme song all night?

Adit: It would end in a bout of sweaty dick punching.

Me: ...

This is my favorite shirt. I like wearing it and then wearing the women's jacket on top of it.

Have you seen the white shirt I'm wearing? I just wanted to point out its tightness. I thought it would be an apt time to point out the tightness.

Vests in silk are so nice. I'm such a whore for vests.

That's right Miss Pakistan, you're so much uglier than Miss India.

While showing us the suits he got from India...

I wanted a blue suit, but I specifically told her to buy me the not gay blue one. So let me show you the gay blue that I got.

On Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

God damn it. Me being videotaped pooping on the toilet at 4 is a deeper more convincing screenplay than this, with a more suspenseful plot and a better ending - which is poop in toilet.

This one is NC-17

So I will just calculate answers using the varicose veins on my penis, which inexplicably describe all the various quantum phenomena on them?

The thing that prevents me from buying a Mac is that it's a very feminine product. I want the Macbook Air because only douche bags have them, and I want to be a douche bag.

Dubai is such a shitty place to live in. Seriously, I've been reading about it. If you get pregnant, they'll jail your ass, export you and then keep your kid. I think it's hilarious. Oh and super shitty.

Is Adit fat? Let's look in the mirror.

Oranges aren't fruits.

Tonight was a productive night

George I should warn you. Ever since that weekend when you left, I don't close the door when I pee. I've gotten too used to it.

AAHHHHHH!! I typed in period like time period to get simple harmonic motion, and I got period like ewwww gross period!

After spending 20 minutes playing with Google Earth...

Sarah, watch me use the force. I'm going to make Africa the right side up.

Isn't it awesome to have the window open and be blasting the heat at the same time? Yeah that's right, you love it, you love it. It's like dick, you love it.

After Adit and George spent 10 minutes lighting Purell on fire in their bathroom sink...

George, can we fill the toilet with Purell and light it on fire to sanitize it? Think about it...

I have come to the great realization that I am the most attractive Indian man.

After being informed that fisherman have a higher mortality rate

Look, that's a job you can avoid. We can just avoid eating rare, Atlantic Salmon. Lumberjacks need to get lumber.

You have no idea how hard lumberjacks work to get your lumber.

After being gone for 4 days...

My ass is so firm. It's like armor. Holy shit, I've done nothing but work out since you left.

The reason women live longer than men is because women don't work. Seriously, when was the last time you saw a woman lumberjack? That's right, never. On average, 118 per 100,000 lumberjacks die every year.

Look, there's the right way, the wrong way and the Adit way. The Adit way is just the wrong way but faster.

Titty twisters don't hurt me. Seriously, they just don't hurt.

Ooooo, just because you said that, I've got to lube up my elbows. No crusty elbows for Adit.

Wait, I thought South Africa was a region? What do you mean it's a country?

This is layer one baby, get ready for layer two: Calvin Klein, Romance.

Some people eat when they're bored; I Purell.

Do you understand word coming out of my mouth? Shit that's gonna go on the blog.

Africans are better than other people. When was the last time you saw a Chinese man outrun an African man? Never, NEVER.

Do you have to pay taxes annually?

He whispers sweet nothings in my ear.

I can translate Sean Paul songs. It's a fantastic skill of mine.

I want to bathe in it. It's like bathing in semen.

God damn it, this problem isn't a circle.

I love circles. Let no man speak ill of circles lest they die. Oh baby, two problems left, home stretch, HOME STRETCH.

A million no's and one yes counts as consent in court.

Nooooooo!!! I don't want to get a haircut! It's taken me three months, THREE MONTHS, to get to this point!

So I was standing on the subway and there was this couple standing right there whispering "He looks like a Jonas Brother!" Right in front of me!

I should get one of those t-shirts that says the man and the legend. Except I should have both of those arrows pointing up.

Why does she pronounce her name like that? Is it because she's Pakistani?

I want to be a Yuppie when I grow up.

I'm in the mood for some laughter. Cracked.com, feed me.

There was this dude at the gym who picked up 100 pounds in each arm and lifted them. The man was a bear. I was so hard for him.

Wait George, can you just bring the pan in with you in the shower and wash it? I've done it before with my pans.

This is Reggae! Today’s theme is 70s smooth rock!

I don’t want to really get strong, I want to appear strong.

I only shampoo once a day, but I condition three times a day

Hipsters fetishize the authentic

The purpose of PE is for me to relax... maybe to get a little stretching done if I wish.

I think we need more men.

I think I'll just do this naked actually, like the Greeks.

I don't like Gay men, but I am gay.

I want to buy a black skinny tie.

9/6/09

It's 68? That means I can wear long sleeves!

Blog Archive! I'm gonna be the first follower

9/5/09

New York is not that big of a tourist destination.

Women with pants - you know.